Have you ever cried in front of your children?
Have you ever felt guilty about not being able to spend more time with your kids?
Have you ever hugged your children not because they needed it, but because you need it? Well, I did.
It was a quiet and peaceful afternoon. I just finished washing dishes from lunch. I sat down, watched my kids while playing on their own, then suddenly I started blaming myself doing all the chores, why did we not just hire a helper? Now, I felt like I’m always running around the house and felt guilty about not being able to spend more time with kids.
I looked at myself in the mirror. I’m just 29 and I felt like I’ve added many years to my age. I feel sorry for myself for not being able to pay more attention to my personal care. I can’t even take a shower, my hair is always tied up and I don’t even have time to brush it. Then my eyes were filled with tears. I can’t help it, I hugged and kissed my kids so tight, I needed it badly. This mama cried. I wiped off my face and my kids went back to play as I tried to compose myself.
I sat again and mulled over the things that matter most. Then I realized, my kids are actually happier when it’s just us. I have a husband who works so hard for us. We have real family time and we enjoy it more. I’m also happy that I’m in control of everything and that there’s no stranger living with us on the same roof because I’ve heard some horror stories about it.
Having two very active young kids without a helper is sure tough and it’d be good to have extra helping hands, but for the past 2 months, we’re actually better off without a helper.
And So…I wanted to write a reminder for myself and maybe some of you will benefit too.
Dear me, and mamas, or those going through the same thing, remember that this is just one phase in the parenting life-cycle.
Relinquish your guilt. Whatever mom-guilt it is, just let it go. You will be in the same cycle of guilt if you don’t quit that habit. If you think you’re not spending enough time with your children, then make up for it.
It’s not possible to constantly be with them. It’s just not realistic. The key is quality time, not quantity
Forgive yourself. Accept that you are an imperfect mother and forgive yourself for the moments that you are human. If you don’t, you will constantly think that you are failing. It just leads to disappointment and will cause you to enter a cycle of guilt.
Be happy. Commit to yourself and kick that bad habit of guilt so you can be happier. You have to move on with that mom guilt and enjoy every moment with your kids while they are young. Kids are only kids for a short while. Don’t miss that.
And last but not least.
Pray. Always ask for God’s guidance and blessings every day. Have gratitude for all things.